Note from US Navy to the Japanese: Be sure to wash up with soap and water!

Note to the people of Japan: Just wash up with soap and water.

The US 7th Fleet is the largest forward-deployed US Navy fleet, with 50–60 ships, 350 aircraft and 60,000 Navy and Marine Corps personnel.

The 7th Fleet was deployed, to assist the Japanese, in the wake of Japan’s extreme weather cocktail of a 33 foot tsunami wave and the fifth biggest earthquake (8.9 Richter) in recorded human history.

At a distance of 100 miles from Japan, to the Northeast, the fleet was ordered to find another direction of approach.

In other words they turned tail and ran for their lives. Why? They detected deadly airborne radiation released from the nuclear power plant in Fukushima, Japan.

Now let’s look at this. The USS Ronald Reagan, irRONically a nuclear powered Nimitz-class supercarrier, detected too much radiation at, and this is important, ONE HUNDRED MILES AWAY FROM THE REACTOR in Japan to continue. They evacuated. Or, stated in a more plebian manner, they shit their pants.

Why is this 100-mile-thing so important? Well, because the Japanese authorities innitially saw fit to evacuate everyone within a SIX mile radius of the plant. I believe that they later revised it to a whopping TWELVE miles from the CERTAIN-DEATH zone. We’ll give them the benefit of the doubt. Twelve miles indeed.

Let’s see:
100 miles/12 miles
100 miles/12 miles

Are you catching this? "Our" Navy won’t go within a hundred miles of that place . . . which can only mean that the explosion at Fukushima sent a very scarey radioactive plume out over the ocean (moving, incidentally, in the general direction of the US’s West Coast).

But wait, there’s more. In what can only be described as the most ludicrous press release in the last 24 hours, the Navy assures us that, "the maximum potential radiation dose received by anyone aboard a ship, that passed through the area, was less than the radiation exposure received from about a month of exposure to natural background radiation from sources such as rocks, soil and the sun."

Rocks, soil, and the sun? Any gardeners out there? You are DOOMED. And if you’re very clever you can just go around wearing a placard that says "I’ve been working in my organic garden all month" and ENTIRE NAVAL FLEETS will go OUT OF THEIR WAY to avoid you.

The press release goes on to say, "three helicopter aircrews returning to the ship, after conducting disaster relief missions near Sendai, identified low levels of radioactivity on 17 air crew members." And in the very next sentence they cleverly add, "The low-level radioactivity was easily removed from affected personnel by washing with soap and water." you can’t make this shit up.

Soap and water? Those stupid Russians! According to the IAEA (International Atomic Energy Agency) two workers died as a result of the Chernobyl nuclear power plant accident. Oh, uh, and 28 firemen within a few months. And, uh, as an afterthought they mention the 1800 kids who got thyroid cancer.

While I certainly find the IAEA’s numbers highly suspect, if Russians had only known then what the US Navy knows now they could have saved 1,830 people: Soap and water! Simple as that.

The press release says one more thing of interest, right after the soap and water thingy, "officials said no further contamination was detected afterward."

So you see? Even radioactive Cesium, with a deadly half-life of 30 years, can’t be detected after soap and water.

So, my dear Japanese friends, remember to wash up with soap and water!